How You Can Have an $89 Dollar Wedding

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of twirling in a white frilly wedding dress with a long train held by my cute flower girl.  I imagined my matching bridesmaids, colorful flowers, savory food, potent drinks, all of my favorite songs blasting while we danced the night away, and a fairy tale ending for the wedding of my dreams.

I went to college, graduated with no loans or significant debt, became a teacher, experienced a difficult job market, and found myself in a housing bubble that exploded prices way beyond my means.  I couldn’t even afford a cardboard box in Southern California circa 2005.  But it didn’t matter, because I hadn’t found the right guy yet and I wasn’t ready for domesticity.

And then the housing bubble popped, recession set in and I found myself ready to get married to the guy I was ready to call my husband.  Turns out, the time was ripe to buy a house and job security was iffy.  We began planning a wedding only to become totally befuddled by the price tags of everything. 

And just like that, my wedding aspirations evaporated.  It all seemed so much more perfect when I didn’t know how much it cost.  But now, I faced going into huge amounts of debt that would edge me out of the housing market and make our lives riddled with monthly payments and interest being thrown away. 

My now husband and I made an opportunity-cost decision:  spend money and go into debt for a one-day affair, or buy a house and start our future debt-free.  It wasn’t an easy decision to be sure.  We went back and forth several times, but eventually the answer became obvious to us. 

We chose to start our future debt free.  This is what we did:

• Chose a sentimental date to get married in a civil ceremony.  We chose my paternal grandparents’ anniversary.  They were married for 60 years until my grandfather passed away, and I thought it was good karma to share an anniversary with them.
• We paid the required costs (licensing, etc) of a civil ceremony.  Price tag:  $89. 
• I wore a white dress I already owned.  Price tag:  free. 
• My sister did my hair.  Price tag:  free.
• My friend gave me something blue:  a cute garter from Fredericks of Hollywood.  Price tag:  free. 
• My mom gave me a family heirloom (a gold snake bracelet) for my something “old”.  Price tag:  free. 
• My sister bought me a pair of shoes, which I used for my something “new”.  Price tag:  free. 
• My mom took me out to get a manicure and pedicure.  Price tag:  free.
• My parents took us out to dinner.  Price tag: free.
• I used the best picture of us and sent it to Costco to make announcements.  It came with envelopes.  Price tag:  $14.99. 
• I ordered new address labels with a cute wedding theme.  Price tag:  $5.99 with shipping. 
• I used blank cards I already had to send thank you notes.  Price tag:  free. 

It was perfect, cozy, intimate, and special.  I don’t feel any regrets.  And best of all…we’re not in debt! 

My grandparents had a civil ceremony in 1945, before the end of the war when money was tight.  They lasted 60 years and they didn’t even have a wedding photograph to show for their special day. 

My cousin dropped a ton on his wedding and ended up divorcing after two years of marriage.

Another cousin had a big wedding, only to see her marriage end in divorce three months later.

A friend saved for three years before hosting an expensive wedding that lasted a whole 5 hours.  They can’t buy a house right now for obvious reasons.

What I learned from other people is that it doesn’t matter what you do.  Do what YOU want to do and keep your emotions and passion in check.  Also, for me it was important to keep in perspective that it is only one day.  The long run was more important to me, so I wanted my marriage to start off on the right foot.